50 Witty quotes about Relationships

50 Witty quotes about Relationships

1. My life is like a romantic comedy except there’s no romance and it’s just me laughing at my own jokes.

2. Relationships start with “Can we talk?” and end in “We need to talk”

3. The key to a successful relationship is to clear your internet history.

4. You want to be a part of my life, the door is always open. You want to leave my life, the door is open. But don’t stand at the door, You’re blocking the traffic.

5. When your ex says: “You’ll never find anyone like me” Reply with: “That’s the point”.

6. Face book should have a limit on how many times you can change your relationship status. After 3 it should default to “unstable”.

7. I love my relationship with my bed. No commitment needed. We just sleep together every night.

8. The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life.

9. No, I am not single. I am in a long distance relationship. Because my girlfriend lives in the future.

10. Dear heart, Please stop getting involved in everything. Your job is to pump blood. That’s it.

11. Being in a relationship is a full time job, so don’t apply if you’re not ready.

12. A relationship without trust is like a car without gas you can stay in it all you want, but it won’t go anywhere.

13. When a girl says “Do whatever you want”. Do not do whatever you want.

14. Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.

15. Date someone who gives you the same feeling of when you see your food coming at a restaurant.

16. Everybody has a girlfriend and boyfriend, I’m just over here like “I love food”

17. I just added another one to the “what the hell was I thinking” List.

18. A boy makes his girl jealous of other women. A gentleman makes other women jealous of his girl.

19. It’s funny how we fall in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time.

20. There actually is an “END” in friendship.

21. The beauty of life does not depend on how happy you are, but how happy others can be because of you.

22. I’ll look back on this and smile because it was life and I decided to live it.

23. Being single is smarter than being in the wrong relationship.

24. “What is the difference? “I asked him. “Between the love of your life, and your soul mate?” “One is a choice, and one is not”.

25. In a relationship one person is always right and the other person is male.

26. If a girl argued with their boyfriend topless, they would win every time.

27. Do you know why a previous relationship is called EX? It’s not the term for the past. Ex is short for EXPIRED.

28. Today’s relationships: You can touch each other, But not each other’s Phones.

29. Everyone is in a relationship, getting married or having babies. And I’m just over here like “I love cake!”

30. A relationship lasts longer when facebook doesn’t know about it.

31. Don’t bring baggage from an ex relationship into your next relationship…unless you want it to be a short trip.

32. I’ve had two terrific relationships, But both ended in marriage.

33. A successful man is one who makes more money than this wife can spend. A successful woman is who can find such a man.

34. Relationships are like garage sales. From a distance it looks like it could be interesting, But up close, it’s just a ton of shit you don’t need.

35. Relationships sink when they have too many passengers.

36. Remember when she cancels a date, she has to. But when he cancels a date, He has two.

37. What to do when you miss your ex? Reload and shoot again.

38. Men look at women’s behind and go: “Wow, what an ass”. Women look at man’s face and think the same!

39. Women spend more time thinking about what men think than men actually spend thinking.

40. If a man expects his woman to be an angel in his life, then he should first create a heaven for her.

41. If women could read minds, Every second man will get slapped..

42. Love is like virus. It can happen to anybody at any time.

43. Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.— Will Ferrell

44. Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.

45. Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

46. Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

47. Love makes life so confusing, but without love, would you really want to live?

48. A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished.

49. At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.

50. A sweetheart is a bottle of wine; a wife is a wine bottle.