- All the blood, sweat, and tears will be worth it when I get to spend forever by your side.
- An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute forgets the fruit.
- Battery about to die, I am about to live!
- Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
- Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
- Before you, I never believed in forever. Now, I know that is not long enough to spend with you.
- Can anything be more valuable than our love? Since you are with me, my only measurement is in heartbeats.
- Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
- Every time I see you I fall in love all over again.
- Everyone is beautiful in their own way because God makes no mistakes.
- Flip the coin.. head I am yours, tail you are mine.
- I am half-sane and sleep-deprived.
- I changed my password to “incorrect”. Now, my password is incorrect.
- I don’t care how hard being together is, nothing is worse than being apart.
- I have to be funny because being hot is not in my dictionary.
- I love you with the breath, the smiles and the tears of all my life.
- I’d rather spend one moment holding you than a lifetime knowing I never could.
- I’m not perfect. I’ll annoy you, make fun of you, say stupid things, but you’ll never find someone who loves you as much as I do.
- I’ve been waiting for hours and I’ll be waiting for hours more, till my love arrives and my heart’s fulfilled.
- I’ve fallen in love many times always with you.
- If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk in my garden forever.
- If life is not smiling at you, give it a good tickling.
- It hurts when you have someone in your heart but not in your arms.
- It’s funny how people say they miss you but don’t even make an effort to see you.
- Just about the time when you think you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
- Love is a medicine that can neutralize even a poisoned heart.
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.
- Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener @-@.
- My life with you is something that I would never trade, even for all of the riches under heaven.
- My silence/smile is just another word for my pain.
- No matter how strong of a person you are, there’s always someone who can make you weak.
- No matter what has happened. No matter what you’ve done. No matter what you will do. I will always love you.
- Please don’t forget to smile.
- Silence is the most powerful scream.
- Sometimes I’m not angry, I’m hurt and there’s a big difference.
- Sometimes you never realize the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.
- Sometimes, it’s better to be alone… No one can hurt you.
- The most painful goodbyes are those which were never said and never explained.
- The reason I like you is simple – love, laughter, and your smile.
- The sweetest joy, the wildest woe is love.
- There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.
- There is no other woman in the world like you. I am the luckiest man alive to be able to call you mine.
- To be brave is to love unconditionally without expecting anything in return.
- Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.
- When I miss you I re-read our old conversations and smile like an idiot.
- When I miss you it seems every song I listen to is about you.
- When you fall for someone’s personality, almost everything about them becomes handsome and beautiful.
- When you love me like that, I melt into honey. Let’s be sweet together.
- Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else?
- Without you in my life, I would be incomplete. I pray that I should never know such pain.
- Worst two minutes of my life when I tried to be normal.
FUNNY INSTAGRAM BIOS
- A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
- A lie is just a great story ruined by truth.
- Are you a banker because I’d like you to leave me a loan.
- Born at a very young age.
- Born to express not to impress.
- Don’t get a woman, get a dog… They are loyal and they die sooner.
- Don’t hit kids!!! No, seriously, they have guns now.
- Have lots of hair and like ugly things.
- I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle… He’s dreaming too.
- I always learn from the mistake of others who take my advice.
- I don’t insult people, I just describe them.
- I hope Karma slaps you in the face before I do.!
- I prefer my puns intended.
- I shouldn’t be allowed to go on Snapchat, Facebook or Instagram when I’m drunk!
- I still don’t understand Twitter, but here I am.
- I still miss my ex – but guess what? My aim is getting better.
- I talk like a baby and I never pay for drinks.
- I was addicted to hokey pokey but I turned myself around.
- I will go into survival mode if tickled.
- I wonder what happens when the doctor’s wife eats an apple a day?
- I work for money; for loyalty, hire a Dog.
- I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I am joking.
- I’m in desperate need of a 6-month vacation… twice a year.
- I’m just having an allergic reaction to the universe.
- I’m not smart. I just wear glasses.
- I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
- I’m so poor that I can’t pay attention in class.
- If I could sum up my life in one line I would die of embarrassment.
- If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
- In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision-maker.
- It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.
- It’s very difficult to be great. Losers prove this point continuously.
- My hobbies are breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
- Never judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes. By that time, they’ll be a mile away and barefoot.
- Nice guys finish lunch.
- Not all men are fools, some stay single.
- Nothing in the world is free, even Santa comes with a ‘Clause’.
- Perfect has SEVEN letters and so does meeeeee!
- Recommended by 4 out of 5 people that recommend things.
- Recovering ice cream addict.
- Save paper, don’t do homework.
- Save water, drink beer.
- Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.
- Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire.
- Sometimes one middle finger isn’t enough to let someone know how you feel. That’s why you have two hands.
- The only reason I am fat is that a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality.
- The strawberry shampoo doesn’t taste as good as it smells.
- This is my last Instagram bio ever.
- Time flies… after you hit the snooze button.
- Trying to elevate small talk to medium talk.
- Warning!!! I know KARATE and few other oriental words.
- When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…”.
- Whenever I have a problem I just sing and then I realize my voice is worse than my problem.
- Where the hell am I, and how did I get here?
- White lips, pale face, I hate the entire human race.
- You’re beautiful until your Photoshop 30 day trial has gone.
- You’re right. I’m NOT perfect. But I’m unique!
COOL INSTAGRAM BIOS
- A book-store is only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
- Awesome and does ask a question, Awesome understands instantly.
- Being a person comes with a lot of complication, it’s time to be a unicorn.
- Born when young, living it older.
- Can’t walk… vehicles only..!
- Chocolate doesn’t ask questions, chocolate understands.
- Currently pursuing a PhD equipped with an interest in fantasy.
- Day maker, people lover, superstition reality.
- Easily distracted, they have always said.
- Everybody is so happy… I hate that.
- Everybody wishes they could go to heaven but no one wants to die.
- Full transformation online to a cuddly warm and happy life.
- God bless this hot mess.
- Hated by many, wanted by plenty, disliked by some, confronted by none.
- Here is mystery and power, and my power is only exceeded by my mystery.
- Hey, you are reading my bio again?!
- How we live our life is far more important than how we say we live our life.
- I am another precious stone whose importance is yet not discovered.
- I am an instant twit face because I have Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.
- I have this new theory that human adolescence doesn’t end until your early thirties.
- I haven’t been myself ever since I was born.
- I only use Instagram to stalk…
- I will win, not immediately but definitely.
- I’m here to avoid friends on Facebook.
- I’m not glad it’s “Friday”, I’m glad it’s “Today”. Love your life – 7 days a week.
- I’m real and I hope some of my followers are too.
- I’m starting to like Instagram, which is weird because I hate pictures.
- I speak my mind and I never mind what I speak.
- I’ve always thought being popular on Instagram is as about as useless as being rich in monopoly.
- If I delete your number, you’re basically deleted from my life.
- If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.
- If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front.
- If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me, and we can make fun of people together.
- Insert pretentious stuff about myself here.
- It is truly difficult to be waiting for something that you know may never come to pass; however, it is even harder to give up on something that you really want.
- It’s fine to be glow stick because at times we need to break so that we can shine brighter.
- Life is dumb and I want to sleep.
- Life is short… Smile while you still have teeth.
- Life maker, I will make your life.
- Time is precious, waste it wisely.
- We are all part of the ultimate statistic – ten out of ten dies.
- We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
- When born was analogue, by design digital.
- Why look up at the stars when the biggest star is me.
- Why would I ever leave the house when there are Netflix and ice cream waiting for me.
- Words cannot express my love & passion for Fridays!
- You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.
- You will never have anything you don’t respect, including lots of money.
- Your fantasies will be real, just follow after you are fed up with reality.
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170+ Powerful Status Quotes about Life Lessons